How often do you hear people say “I can’t do this”? All too often, isn’t it? Now, time to be honest with yourself, how often have you said it. “I can’t” can be two of the most dangerous words in the English language. Those two words are a big factor in people being unable to accomplish anything.
If you find yourself constantly saying, “I can’t” you need to change your thinking. In many cases, “I can’t” really means “I won’t”. Think about how often you say that you can’t do something. How many times is it just a minor obstacle standing in your way, something small that you will not try to overcome? Often, with just a little bit of effort, you can get around these small obstacles, and accomplish something. Take a look at what is standing in your way, think of ways around it, and “I can’t” can become “I can”.
Now that you are starting to think “I can”, you need to move on from there. Certainly, it is better to think that you can do something than thinking that you can’t. However, “I can” can also be dangerous. Now that you think you can do something, that’s a good thing. So, now you can, the question becomes, why aren’t you? I can is a good step, but at this point there is just the belief that you can accomplish something. But belief without action is nothing. At this point, you need to stop saying that you can do something, and do it.
The next step is to think “I will”. This is where you take a hard look at what you want to accomplish, and start thinking about how to do it. Write out your goals, and the steps needed to achieve the goals. Spend an adequate amount of time planning what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Do not spend too much time planning, though. It is easy to get caught up in the trap of over planning, and over thinking. At some point you need to simply start doing. You need to start taking action on your plans.
Now, you have reached the “I am” stage. You have overcome the fear and inaction of “I can’t”. You have moved beyond simply believing of “I can”. You have made your plans in the “I will” stage. Now you have to look at the list of steps to reach your goals, and start taking action. Just take it one step at a time and move closer and closer to your goals. Other obstacles may crop up on the way. If this happens, don’t let it stop you. Step back for a moment, and figure out a way around them. Keep moving forward and soon you’ll find yourself at “I have”.
“I have” is accomplishment. You’ve overcome your fear, believed that you can do it, planned it out, and taken action. Now you are seeing the results of your efforts. You’ve reached your goals. Think of some areas of your life where you can apply this. Apply these principles to your life, and keep moving from “I can’t” to “I have”.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Developing Yourself
Personal development comes in a wide variety of activities, but it has been my experience that you have to actively want to change yourself before anything can be done. From there, you are able to grow and learn from your experiences. This will aid in all aspects of your life, from the home to the work place.
The ability to look in on oneself and see where you fall short is a hard thing for most people to do. It took me years to figure out that I needed to change and even longer to actually make the change a set reality. Often times, the need for change comes from a dark part of your life, but you may be lucky enough to have insight or others helping you to know where you need to improve.
The path to personal development can be long and hard, but that isn't to say you won't have fun in the process. If you enjoy reading, there are thousands of books that can help you for whatever aspect of development you want and need. You may not realize it, but the books HR speaks about to staff often have great truths hidden within them, as long as you are willing to accept the advice.
It has been an ongoing process for me to develop, both personally and professionally. In fact, it even involved a bit of therapy early on to learn self-coping skills after a long stretch of depression. Hearing about my faults wasn't easy, but ten years later, I understand what my therapist was telling me and that helped, at least for a while.
Like in anything, you stagnate and think that everything is better even if things are worse. This happened to me as well, as I'm sure it has happened for many others. The key is to always reflect on yourself whenever things are both going well and badly. This combination of reflection gives you a solid look into what happens in your life, and more importantly, it shows how you react.
Take these reactions and build on them. If you are too angry, try to find a way to dissolve your anger before it blows up. Some cry too easily, and you can take this observation as a wake-up call to toughen yourself up. These skills will help with your spouse, coworkers, and your boss during the tough times.
If you're having a hard time tapping into your emotions, and don't have the insurance for a therapist, finding a nonjudgmental friend might be good for you. You two can speak about what problems you are having, and they might be willing to help. Just be careful not to overburden them, and strike a balance of give and take before pursuing this option.
With the right mindset, humans are able to move mountains. If your boss or a loved one sees a change in you for the better, you will want to continue to try and grow, and the cycle will continue. Don't be discouraged, and allow yourself a better life.
The ability to look in on oneself and see where you fall short is a hard thing for most people to do. It took me years to figure out that I needed to change and even longer to actually make the change a set reality. Often times, the need for change comes from a dark part of your life, but you may be lucky enough to have insight or others helping you to know where you need to improve.
The path to personal development can be long and hard, but that isn't to say you won't have fun in the process. If you enjoy reading, there are thousands of books that can help you for whatever aspect of development you want and need. You may not realize it, but the books HR speaks about to staff often have great truths hidden within them, as long as you are willing to accept the advice.
It has been an ongoing process for me to develop, both personally and professionally. In fact, it even involved a bit of therapy early on to learn self-coping skills after a long stretch of depression. Hearing about my faults wasn't easy, but ten years later, I understand what my therapist was telling me and that helped, at least for a while.
Like in anything, you stagnate and think that everything is better even if things are worse. This happened to me as well, as I'm sure it has happened for many others. The key is to always reflect on yourself whenever things are both going well and badly. This combination of reflection gives you a solid look into what happens in your life, and more importantly, it shows how you react.
Take these reactions and build on them. If you are too angry, try to find a way to dissolve your anger before it blows up. Some cry too easily, and you can take this observation as a wake-up call to toughen yourself up. These skills will help with your spouse, coworkers, and your boss during the tough times.
If you're having a hard time tapping into your emotions, and don't have the insurance for a therapist, finding a nonjudgmental friend might be good for you. You two can speak about what problems you are having, and they might be willing to help. Just be careful not to overburden them, and strike a balance of give and take before pursuing this option.
With the right mindset, humans are able to move mountains. If your boss or a loved one sees a change in you for the better, you will want to continue to try and grow, and the cycle will continue. Don't be discouraged, and allow yourself a better life.
Creating a Personal Development Plan
Creating a personal development plan can transform an individual’s life. It can help a person get in touch with their internal feelings, determine exactly who they want to be, and how they want to live their life. A personal development plan is often used by younger individuals that are constantly bombarded by peer pressure. However, adults can benefit greatly by creating their own personal development plan, to take the single step forward to transforming a life.
What You Admire
It is imperative to first decide exactly what types of characteristics you admire in other individuals, and would like to internalize on your own. These might be the types of characteristics that are easy to measure such as staying physically fit. It might include taking on a better and healthier diet, or living a life full of integrity.
Choosing the right types of characteristics that you find in other individuals that you admire should be on the top of the list. Decide which three characteristics you would like to incorporate in your own life, to begin the process of transformation. The types of characteristics you should focus on are the ones that are outside your personal comfort zone. However, they should not be so unattainable, as to become quickly discouraged.
Setting Successful Goals
To be successful, you will need to set goals. If the characteristics you selected above are tangible, like physical fitness, you will need to understand exactly what the goal looks like. It might include participating in a marathon, simply walking the neighborhood, or changing bad eating habits to healthier ones.
If the characteristics include living a life with high integrity, you will need to detail exactly what that looks like to you. It may mean ending bad behaviors, making better habits, or asking for outside help to achieve the goal.
Flesh It Out
Once the goals are firmly in place, it is time to flesh them out, to give them substance. It is time to expand the plan to add meat to the bones. It is impossible to skimp during this part of the process. Expanding the plan might include attaching some form of timelines or benchmarks where you need to reach a specific goal at a specific time. Be realistic, and flesh out the goals on a timeline that can be easily achieved.
Find the Support
It is much easier to obtain these types of goals in your personal development plan with support. It can be a family member, friend, therapist, physician or an exercise buddy that simply wants to take the route with you. With enough support, it is easy to achieve nearly any type of goal as long as it has been set in a realistic time frame.
The last portion of the personal development plan should include a way to celebrate your success. This can be done through by keeping a journal, or checking off a long list of necessary goals. Part of the celebration should also include a look back so that you can determine exactly how far you have come on the journey. Remember that slip ups are part of the process, and you will need to forgive yourself if you need to start the process over again.
What You Admire
It is imperative to first decide exactly what types of characteristics you admire in other individuals, and would like to internalize on your own. These might be the types of characteristics that are easy to measure such as staying physically fit. It might include taking on a better and healthier diet, or living a life full of integrity.
Choosing the right types of characteristics that you find in other individuals that you admire should be on the top of the list. Decide which three characteristics you would like to incorporate in your own life, to begin the process of transformation. The types of characteristics you should focus on are the ones that are outside your personal comfort zone. However, they should not be so unattainable, as to become quickly discouraged.
Setting Successful Goals
To be successful, you will need to set goals. If the characteristics you selected above are tangible, like physical fitness, you will need to understand exactly what the goal looks like. It might include participating in a marathon, simply walking the neighborhood, or changing bad eating habits to healthier ones.
If the characteristics include living a life with high integrity, you will need to detail exactly what that looks like to you. It may mean ending bad behaviors, making better habits, or asking for outside help to achieve the goal.
Flesh It Out
Once the goals are firmly in place, it is time to flesh them out, to give them substance. It is time to expand the plan to add meat to the bones. It is impossible to skimp during this part of the process. Expanding the plan might include attaching some form of timelines or benchmarks where you need to reach a specific goal at a specific time. Be realistic, and flesh out the goals on a timeline that can be easily achieved.
Find the Support
It is much easier to obtain these types of goals in your personal development plan with support. It can be a family member, friend, therapist, physician or an exercise buddy that simply wants to take the route with you. With enough support, it is easy to achieve nearly any type of goal as long as it has been set in a realistic time frame.
The last portion of the personal development plan should include a way to celebrate your success. This can be done through by keeping a journal, or checking off a long list of necessary goals. Part of the celebration should also include a look back so that you can determine exactly how far you have come on the journey. Remember that slip ups are part of the process, and you will need to forgive yourself if you need to start the process over again.
Confidence Is Key
Let’s face it; if you want to succeed at anything, you need to have a certain level of confidence. This doesn’t mean that you need to boldly and fearlessly attack every aspect of life. There certainly may be areas where you lack confidence. You need to identify, however, the areas of life where you need to be confident in order to succeed.
The first thing you need to do is to identify where you need more confidence, and where you don’t. Let’s say, for example, that you are afraid of public speaking, and you need to get over that to succeed. In this case, you need to gain confidence in speaking in front of people. If you lack confidence in cooking a good meal, that certainly won’t matter to your speaking ability. You need to identify where you need to gain confidence, and where lack of confidence doesn’t matter. This doesn’t mean that you can’t gain confidence in other areas, though.
One of the dangers of a lack of confidence is that it can fuel failure. Failure then leads to decreased confidence, which leads to failure, which leads to… well you can see it’s a vicious circle. Lack of confidence and failure feed on each other, and they will drag you down. So, the first key to gaining confidence is to succeed rather than fail.
Your first successes do not need to be major successes. You just need to succeed at something to start lifting yourself up, and break out of the failure->lack of confidence cycle. Choose a small goal to achieve. This needs to be a goal that you cannot achieve at this time, but it also needs to be achievable with a little bit of work. Set your mind on achieving this goal. Set yourself a realistic time frame, and then determine what you need to in order to succeed.
Once you achieve this goal, you will start to see that you can succeed. Keep setting yourself goals, and work towards achieving them. Success will lead to confidence, which will lead to more success, and so on. Before long, you will be able to attack the critical areas where you lack confidence. If you fear public speaking, you can now start working on that lack of confidence. Find mentors to help you along. Find groups and organizations that will help you to build confidence.
Do not confuse confidence with arrogance. Being confident is a good thing, being arrogant is a bad thing. Confidence is the idea that you can achieve something that you can succeed. Arrogance is the idea that you are better than others.
Confidence is the key to succeeding in any aspect of life. Whether you want to succeed in business, creative endeavors, fitness, weight loss, or family, you need to have confidence. Start by setting yourself small goals, and find small successes. Build on those successes and you will find yourself gaining confidence in all areas of your life. Once you have confidence and success, then you can start helping those who lack confidence themselves.
The first thing you need to do is to identify where you need more confidence, and where you don’t. Let’s say, for example, that you are afraid of public speaking, and you need to get over that to succeed. In this case, you need to gain confidence in speaking in front of people. If you lack confidence in cooking a good meal, that certainly won’t matter to your speaking ability. You need to identify where you need to gain confidence, and where lack of confidence doesn’t matter. This doesn’t mean that you can’t gain confidence in other areas, though.
One of the dangers of a lack of confidence is that it can fuel failure. Failure then leads to decreased confidence, which leads to failure, which leads to… well you can see it’s a vicious circle. Lack of confidence and failure feed on each other, and they will drag you down. So, the first key to gaining confidence is to succeed rather than fail.
Your first successes do not need to be major successes. You just need to succeed at something to start lifting yourself up, and break out of the failure->lack of confidence cycle. Choose a small goal to achieve. This needs to be a goal that you cannot achieve at this time, but it also needs to be achievable with a little bit of work. Set your mind on achieving this goal. Set yourself a realistic time frame, and then determine what you need to in order to succeed.
Once you achieve this goal, you will start to see that you can succeed. Keep setting yourself goals, and work towards achieving them. Success will lead to confidence, which will lead to more success, and so on. Before long, you will be able to attack the critical areas where you lack confidence. If you fear public speaking, you can now start working on that lack of confidence. Find mentors to help you along. Find groups and organizations that will help you to build confidence.
Do not confuse confidence with arrogance. Being confident is a good thing, being arrogant is a bad thing. Confidence is the idea that you can achieve something that you can succeed. Arrogance is the idea that you are better than others.
Confidence is the key to succeeding in any aspect of life. Whether you want to succeed in business, creative endeavors, fitness, weight loss, or family, you need to have confidence. Start by setting yourself small goals, and find small successes. Build on those successes and you will find yourself gaining confidence in all areas of your life. Once you have confidence and success, then you can start helping those who lack confidence themselves.
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